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Sunday, 21 May 2017

Paragraph about Room 7

William                                                              
WALT: write a paragraph.
Success Criteria
  • A topic sentence.
  • included details.
  • A concluding sentence.
  • Checked for capitals, punctuation and spelling.
  • Reread my work to make sure it make sense.


In room 7 the girls are mean and hurtful. Ever since I moved into my new class it was a disaster and, I myself should know because I sit on a table full of girls, and they are always strict and unhelpful. When it comes to them hitting me it's always behind Mrs back and when I try to hit them back which I know its wrong, its always a bad timing because miss turns back and i'm the first person that she usually sees.So now you know, never fight with the girls and let that be a lesson.


KEY:
Topic sentence
Detail sentences
Concluding sentence       

6 comments:

Mata said...

hello William i like how you said that when you try to hit girl back you know it is the wrong thing to do because that is the best thing to do.

Sini @ Glen Innes School said...

Hi William
I think it's true because it happened to me once especially at home.

Marco said...

HI WILLIAM
I like the way u said the girls are mean and hurtfull that is a true fact right there my brother from another mother!

Mayjah @ Glen Innes School said...

william.
You made a few mistakes in your writing
1. You wrote "I sit on a table full of girls" you sit on a table with 3 girls and two boys.

Mayjah @ Glen Innes School said...

2. you wrote "misses" It's meant to be "Mrs"
3.you're not the first person she see's in the class
4.it's your fault for making them mad

Your's sincerely: Mayjah

william Glen Innes School said...

Thank You Mayjah:(

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