Sunday, 21 May 2017

Paragraph about Room 7

WALT: write a paragraph.
Success Criteria
  • A topic sentence.
  • included details.
  • A concluding sentence.
  • Checked for capitals, punctuation and spelling.
  • Reread my work to make sure it make sense.

In room 7 the girls are mean and hurtful. Ever since I moved into my new class it was a disaster and, I myself should know because I sit on a table full of girls, and they are always strict and unhelpful. When it comes to them hitting me it's always behind Mrs back and when I try to hit them back which I know its wrong, its always a bad timing because miss turns back and i'm the first person that she usually sees.So now you know, never fight with the girls and let that be a lesson.

Topic sentence
Detail sentences
Concluding sentence       


Mata said...

hello William i like how you said that when you try to hit girl back you know it is the wrong thing to do because that is the best thing to do.

Sini @ Glen Innes School said...

Hi William
I think it's true because it happened to me once especially at home.

Marco said...

I like the way u said the girls are mean and hurtfull that is a true fact right there my brother from another mother!

Mayjah @ Glen Innes School said...

You made a few mistakes in your writing
1. You wrote "I sit on a table full of girls" you sit on a table with 3 girls and two boys.

Mayjah @ Glen Innes School said...

2. you wrote "misses" It's meant to be "Mrs"'re not the first person she see's in the class's your fault for making them mad

Your's sincerely: Mayjah

william Glen Innes School said...

Thank You Mayjah:(

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